January to March, 2011
Events in this album include:
-Pahpa Simion's funeral
-Library clean-up
-Glitter day
-Valentine's Banquet
-Stamp design contest
-Teachers' Forum
-Pohnpei Culture Day
...and various dinners with friends, fun times at home, etc.
Much love to you all!
Mox
Monday, April 18, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Sohte Cavity
Pre-Peace Corps I went to the dentist about every six months for a cleaning and examination. I pride myself on the fact that I have never had a cavity. I was very happy to learn that Pohnpei has a Peace Corps approved dental office. Since I have been in Pohnpei for almost seven months, and I hadn’t been to the dentist in almost 10, I decided it was time for a check up.
The irony began on the way to my appointment, my taxi driver was missing most of his teeth, I hoped this wasn’t some sort of omen, but rather a good reminder as to why I was voluntarily visiting the dentist.
After entering the waiting room, which had neither plush sofas, an assortment of magazines, nor aroma of potpourri, I checked in and was ushered back into the examination room. The woman who would be cleaning my teeth greeted me with a gold-toothed smile, again, a reminder as to why I was here. I sat in the chair and we started engaging in small talk, she asked me all the typical questions: Do I have brothers and sisters? Where in the states am I from? What religion am I? Do I like Pohnpei?
I thought I could be nice and show some interest in her. I asked her where she had gone to school to become a hygienist. I asked the question because I thought travel could be something we had in common, but she took it as I was nervous about having her work in my mouth. It turns out she wasn’t a hygienist like I first assumed, but rather a dental assistant. She informed me not to worry, she had been doing this for 26 years, and although she had never been to school, she had learned from experience.
After taking a peak in my mouth she noted how nice my teeth were. She repeatedly said, “Sohte cavity” which means “no cavities” she also told me several times in Pohnpeian how nice my teeth were.
Although she had never received formal training she had mastered the art of asking questions while her hands were in my mouth and there was no way I could answer. She also completed all the normal routine cleaning procedures. The only big difference was instead of an easy listening radio station playing in the background, I could hear the Filipino Soap Opera playing in the waiting room.
There were a few “I’m in Pohnpei reminders” during my visit, the chair was never fully reclined, which didn’t bother me, but I think it made it more difficult for her to have full access to all of my teeth. Also, since most of the teeth she sees everyday are covered in tobacco, limestone, and betel nut residue she told me that my teeth were already clean. I think she was confused as to why exactly I had come to the dentist when it was obvious that my teeth were fine. Also I wasn’t told I was doing anything wrong. When I have visited my dentist in the past it seems no matter how well I think I am brushing or flossing I am given directions to improve.
I’ll be visiting my regular dentist in 9 months or so, when I’m home for a visit. We’ll see how “mwahu douluhl” my teeth really are.
Although I’m Cori Jo, not Mollie, her teeth are also uhdahn mwahu! I hope you have enjoyed our April Fools blog swap, you can read about Mollie here.
Cori Jo
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Doing some educatin'
Greetings!
We've just rounded the corner into 4th quarter here at Lukop Elementary School. It'll be my final quarter as a classroom teacher, since next fall I'll act as a resource teacher for the whole school before I depart in November. Time is flying. I'm very much going to miss my students when we part -- especially my 8th graders, since they've been my students as long as I've taught in Pohnpei.
All is well here. No earthquakes, tsunamis, or toxic runoff are ruffling our feathers on Pohnpei as of now. In fact, we've been blessed this month with a whole lot of business-as-usual, with oodles of academic competitions -- math olympiads, essay contests, science fairs -- coming our way from the DOE.
In addition to the official doings, we've had a few special events happening around campus.
First, we were lucky enough to host a group of Japanese Medical Students here on an exchange program a few days before the tsunami. They came to our classrooms to meet the students, learn about their families, and make lots of balloon animals and oragami boxes. My favorite part of their visit was when we all went to my host family's house to talk to them about local medicine. I got to act as an interpreter, which was a great way for me to learn about my host parents' work, too!
The next bit of big, educative news is that L.E.S. now has a library! It's small, and only the junior novels have been catalogued, but it's a definite start! Hopefully the whole thing will be organized and ready for student use by the end of the summer. I'm ecstatic now, though, because all of my 7th and 8th grade students were able to check out their own independent reading book last week. For many of them it's the first book they've EVER read on their own/for fun. As a lifelong reader, it brings me joy to see them diving into books for the first time!
The independent reading project also has brought some amusement on the homework front. Earlier this week I assigned a writing response on the topic of setting. I asked each student to identify the setting of their novel and to say whether or not they would like to visit it.
My favorite response came from my student with the best sense of humor, Alex Alexander. With his permission, I've included his unedited response to "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" below:
I want to go to this place, because I really want to see it with my own eyes. If there is a man half goat. I want to touch him, talk to him and teach him how to plant sakau. I want to see the beavers. I want to see their faces. I want to sit and watch if a female beavers know how to use a sewing machine.
Its very funny to read about these things. I’ve been so eager to see it. I want to talk to the lion and his crew. And to see if ther’s a wich that has a magic wand. I want to kill her and take her wand away. And turn my enemy in to stone.
Finally, I really want to see these things, to sea if they’re real. I want to be the tourist to all these stuffs. To find more about these creatures. To learn more about them because I’m so interested.
Hopefully the interest keeps up, as well as the occasional blog for you all!
Lots of love,
Mollie
We've just rounded the corner into 4th quarter here at Lukop Elementary School. It'll be my final quarter as a classroom teacher, since next fall I'll act as a resource teacher for the whole school before I depart in November. Time is flying. I'm very much going to miss my students when we part -- especially my 8th graders, since they've been my students as long as I've taught in Pohnpei.
All is well here. No earthquakes, tsunamis, or toxic runoff are ruffling our feathers on Pohnpei as of now. In fact, we've been blessed this month with a whole lot of business-as-usual, with oodles of academic competitions -- math olympiads, essay contests, science fairs -- coming our way from the DOE.
In addition to the official doings, we've had a few special events happening around campus.
First, we were lucky enough to host a group of Japanese Medical Students here on an exchange program a few days before the tsunami. They came to our classrooms to meet the students, learn about their families, and make lots of balloon animals and oragami boxes. My favorite part of their visit was when we all went to my host family's house to talk to them about local medicine. I got to act as an interpreter, which was a great way for me to learn about my host parents' work, too!
The next bit of big, educative news is that L.E.S. now has a library! It's small, and only the junior novels have been catalogued, but it's a definite start! Hopefully the whole thing will be organized and ready for student use by the end of the summer. I'm ecstatic now, though, because all of my 7th and 8th grade students were able to check out their own independent reading book last week. For many of them it's the first book they've EVER read on their own/for fun. As a lifelong reader, it brings me joy to see them diving into books for the first time!
The independent reading project also has brought some amusement on the homework front. Earlier this week I assigned a writing response on the topic of setting. I asked each student to identify the setting of their novel and to say whether or not they would like to visit it.
My favorite response came from my student with the best sense of humor, Alex Alexander. With his permission, I've included his unedited response to "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" below:
I want to go to this place, because I really want to see it with my own eyes. If there is a man half goat. I want to touch him, talk to him and teach him how to plant sakau. I want to see the beavers. I want to see their faces. I want to sit and watch if a female beavers know how to use a sewing machine.
Its very funny to read about these things. I’ve been so eager to see it. I want to talk to the lion and his crew. And to see if ther’s a wich that has a magic wand. I want to kill her and take her wand away. And turn my enemy in to stone.
Finally, I really want to see these things, to sea if they’re real. I want to be the tourist to all these stuffs. To find more about these creatures. To learn more about them because I’m so interested.
Hopefully the interest keeps up, as well as the occasional blog for you all!
Lots of love,
Mollie
Monday, February 14, 2011
A festive weekend! (with a capital “V”!)
I never thought I’d say this, but just I celebrated Valentine’s Day all weekend here in Pohnpei! In my community last year I felt like I was the only person who even knew it was Valentine’s Day. But 2011 seemed to be the year of the Valentine’s Renaissance on PNI, and I got to celebrate it in a number of ways. (None of which involved a boyfriend, so you can put down the hedge clippers, Dad!)
My first Valentine-esque activity actually had roots in something that to me was very sad. I found out last week that one of our 4th grade students got pregnant over Christmas break. It was later revealed that she had been truant all but one day last semester, was several years older than her grade-level, and had other issues outside of school that would put her at risk. But the news still upset me greatly, especially since few staff members at our school could recall the last time a Sex Ed team came to Lukop to give “the talk” (here called “ia mumwen naitik” or “how to give birth”). I felt like we had failed her.
So, with my principal’s permission, I got to work and called up the Public Health office. Eventually, I connected with the Adolescent Health team, and two of their educators agreed to visit our school. That visit landed on Friday, February 11 and kicked off V-Day weekend for me.
Their presentation was great – they had an informative flip chart and power point, but the best part of all was seeing my students paying attention and asking important questions about their health. We invited all students grades 5 through 8 to attend and divided them by gender into two classrooms. I was in the girls’ classroom with a female colleague, and two of our male colleagues were with the boys. The Pohnpeian health educator did a great job of answering questions in a way that minimized the girls’ embarrassment. Some girls were quiet while others were chatty with their friends, but I believe everyone learned something. I can only imagine how it was for the boys. It seemed like a steady stream of them were walking back and forth from their classroom to the bathroom, craning their necks to see what the girls were doing.
They got a taste of their own medicine, however, when the girls were excused a few minutes before the boys, and we got to witness them performing a hilarious song and dance their educator had taught them (for some reason the girls didn’t learn it). It’s to the tune of Frère Jacques with words and hand motions as recorded below:
Watermelon, watermelon
(Pantomime an enormous pregnant belly in front of your belly)
Papaya, papaya
(Pantomime holding and/or squeezing large breasts in front of your chest; giggle moderately)
Guava and banana, guava and banana
(Curve the fingers of both hands into a small spheres and stick out your index finger in front of your crotch; giggle maniacally)
Fruit salad, fruit salad
(Pantomime stirring an enormous pot with a humongous ladle; continue aforementioned giggling)
On Saturday I was included in an entirely different manner of Valentine celebrations. The youth group at our local Baptist church sometimes holds social events. This weekend it was decided that they would have a Valentine’s banquet on Saturday night with “partners” (“dates”), even though practically all the young people in the church are cousins. It was held in the Sunday School annex to the main church building, and the girls got together to clean and decorate on Saturday morning. I enjoyed cutting out LOTS of little paper hearts that day with the girls – my small contribution to what turned out to be a VERY well-decorated banquet space. The official start time was 4:30 pm, so by about 7pm all the boys and the girls were there and dressed to the nines – the girls were waiting in their most formal gowns with their hair gracefully and painstakingly styled on one side of the church building, and the boys were playing volleyball in their collared shirts, gelled hair and jeans on the other side.
Then we filed in – the “honored guest” (me) got to hit the buffet and find my seat first (There was even an artificial, long stemmed rose waiting for me there with a tag that read “Molie Write”). Then the “couples” came in. The pastor and his wife were hosts, other ladies from the church were helping serve kool-aid out of coffee carafes, and I helped out by taking lots of pictures. After eating, we had a few songs by the girls, a testimony time, and a game of balloon volleyball (!!!!!!) before a short sermon on love, based on John 3:16. After it was done, everyone helped clean up and we all went home.
You couldn’t find two more diverse ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day, could you? But wait! There’s more!
On Monday—actual Valentine’s Day—I did my standard grammar activity excuse just to make Valentine’s in class (We practiced adjectives, adverbs, and verbs. See? “Dear Valentine, You are very beautiful! I love you! Love, Your Valentine”). The students enjoyed it, I had a few embarrassed gigglers who were taking the opportunity finally to let a special someone know “You are extremely handsome and popular,” but it was pretty standard other than that.
Then on Monday night I went to a reading of the Vagina monologues and a discussion of domestic violence at the First Annual (we’re hoping) Pohnpei V-Day. It was amazing to hear Pohnpeian women speaking out about an issue that is just not discussed here, although it is an enormous problem. I was especially heartened to hear from Pohnpei’s sole female member of the legislature, as well as key members from women’s groups around the island. Also, a number of men from the audience took a pledge at the end of the presentation to “protect the women in my life from violence and abuse.” Pretty cool, huh? Pohnpei V-Day even made it onto the international V-Day website of events! (You can see it here! http://events.vday.org/)
That about covers it for my Valentine’s Day celebrations. So let me send you all a big hug and let you know that I love you THIS much, since that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about anyway!
Sincerely your infrequent but heartfelt blogger,
Mox
My first Valentine-esque activity actually had roots in something that to me was very sad. I found out last week that one of our 4th grade students got pregnant over Christmas break. It was later revealed that she had been truant all but one day last semester, was several years older than her grade-level, and had other issues outside of school that would put her at risk. But the news still upset me greatly, especially since few staff members at our school could recall the last time a Sex Ed team came to Lukop to give “the talk” (here called “ia mumwen naitik” or “how to give birth”). I felt like we had failed her.
So, with my principal’s permission, I got to work and called up the Public Health office. Eventually, I connected with the Adolescent Health team, and two of their educators agreed to visit our school. That visit landed on Friday, February 11 and kicked off V-Day weekend for me.
Their presentation was great – they had an informative flip chart and power point, but the best part of all was seeing my students paying attention and asking important questions about their health. We invited all students grades 5 through 8 to attend and divided them by gender into two classrooms. I was in the girls’ classroom with a female colleague, and two of our male colleagues were with the boys. The Pohnpeian health educator did a great job of answering questions in a way that minimized the girls’ embarrassment. Some girls were quiet while others were chatty with their friends, but I believe everyone learned something. I can only imagine how it was for the boys. It seemed like a steady stream of them were walking back and forth from their classroom to the bathroom, craning their necks to see what the girls were doing.
They got a taste of their own medicine, however, when the girls were excused a few minutes before the boys, and we got to witness them performing a hilarious song and dance their educator had taught them (for some reason the girls didn’t learn it). It’s to the tune of Frère Jacques with words and hand motions as recorded below:
Watermelon, watermelon
(Pantomime an enormous pregnant belly in front of your belly)
Papaya, papaya
(Pantomime holding and/or squeezing large breasts in front of your chest; giggle moderately)
Guava and banana, guava and banana
(Curve the fingers of both hands into a small spheres and stick out your index finger in front of your crotch; giggle maniacally)
Fruit salad, fruit salad
(Pantomime stirring an enormous pot with a humongous ladle; continue aforementioned giggling)
On Saturday I was included in an entirely different manner of Valentine celebrations. The youth group at our local Baptist church sometimes holds social events. This weekend it was decided that they would have a Valentine’s banquet on Saturday night with “partners” (“dates”), even though practically all the young people in the church are cousins. It was held in the Sunday School annex to the main church building, and the girls got together to clean and decorate on Saturday morning. I enjoyed cutting out LOTS of little paper hearts that day with the girls – my small contribution to what turned out to be a VERY well-decorated banquet space. The official start time was 4:30 pm, so by about 7pm all the boys and the girls were there and dressed to the nines – the girls were waiting in their most formal gowns with their hair gracefully and painstakingly styled on one side of the church building, and the boys were playing volleyball in their collared shirts, gelled hair and jeans on the other side.
Then we filed in – the “honored guest” (me) got to hit the buffet and find my seat first (There was even an artificial, long stemmed rose waiting for me there with a tag that read “Molie Write”). Then the “couples” came in. The pastor and his wife were hosts, other ladies from the church were helping serve kool-aid out of coffee carafes, and I helped out by taking lots of pictures. After eating, we had a few songs by the girls, a testimony time, and a game of balloon volleyball (!!!!!!) before a short sermon on love, based on John 3:16. After it was done, everyone helped clean up and we all went home.
You couldn’t find two more diverse ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day, could you? But wait! There’s more!
On Monday—actual Valentine’s Day—I did my standard grammar activity excuse just to make Valentine’s in class (We practiced adjectives, adverbs, and verbs. See? “Dear Valentine, You are very beautiful! I love you! Love, Your Valentine”). The students enjoyed it, I had a few embarrassed gigglers who were taking the opportunity finally to let a special someone know “You are extremely handsome and popular,” but it was pretty standard other than that.
Then on Monday night I went to a reading of the Vagina monologues and a discussion of domestic violence at the First Annual (we’re hoping) Pohnpei V-Day. It was amazing to hear Pohnpeian women speaking out about an issue that is just not discussed here, although it is an enormous problem. I was especially heartened to hear from Pohnpei’s sole female member of the legislature, as well as key members from women’s groups around the island. Also, a number of men from the audience took a pledge at the end of the presentation to “protect the women in my life from violence and abuse.” Pretty cool, huh? Pohnpei V-Day even made it onto the international V-Day website of events! (You can see it here! http://events.vday.org/)
That about covers it for my Valentine’s Day celebrations. So let me send you all a big hug and let you know that I love you THIS much, since that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about anyway!
Sincerely your infrequent but heartfelt blogger,
Mox
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Christmas just ain't Christmas without the ones you love!
See piccies of the family vacay here.
It was a restorative 2+ weeks spent on Kauai with my nearest and dearest. As I explained to a friend, this mellow island was the perfect mix of both of my "homes" (America & Pohnpei). I was so grateful to spend time with my immediate family, especially after we received some sad news from our extended family that would have been difficult to handle on my own.
Despite juggling 5 people's travel itineraries, we did have some quality good times. We ate many delicious meals & tasty treats (FRESH VEGGIES! Lynko's house! Smoothies! Lappert's Ice Cream!). We had many sporty adventures (I golfed! I hiked! I jumped off a waterfall cliff!). We taught Mom about autotune. The rest of the time we hung out at the various beaches around the island, and I savored the feeling of sand between my toes and the sound of waves crashing nearby.
So, although it will be a tough transition back into my "regular" life, I am very much at peace and happy. Thanks, Family, for a wonderful trip!
ps: The photo at the top of my blog was taken years ago on this very island. Mom and I went walking, found the same spot, and trespassed a little bit to revisit the memory.
It was a restorative 2+ weeks spent on Kauai with my nearest and dearest. As I explained to a friend, this mellow island was the perfect mix of both of my "homes" (America & Pohnpei). I was so grateful to spend time with my immediate family, especially after we received some sad news from our extended family that would have been difficult to handle on my own.
Despite juggling 5 people's travel itineraries, we did have some quality good times. We ate many delicious meals & tasty treats (FRESH VEGGIES! Lynko's house! Smoothies! Lappert's Ice Cream!). We had many sporty adventures (I golfed! I hiked! I jumped off a waterfall cliff!). We taught Mom about autotune. The rest of the time we hung out at the various beaches around the island, and I savored the feeling of sand between my toes and the sound of waves crashing nearby.
So, although it will be a tough transition back into my "regular" life, I am very much at peace and happy. Thanks, Family, for a wonderful trip!
ps: The photo at the top of my blog was taken years ago on this very island. Mom and I went walking, found the same spot, and trespassed a little bit to revisit the memory.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
In the words of Arsenal...
Merry Christmas to all my readers, and thank you for your support!
SEE VIDEO
Much love and blessings to you all today and in the new year,
Mox
SEE VIDEO
Much love and blessings to you all today and in the new year,
Mox
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Family Matters
I’ve been told about the central role that family plays in the culture of the Pacific since before I came here. I’ve lived over a year in an island where every new Pohnpeian I meet is able to tell me exactly how we’re related through various connections with my host families. During funerals on-island I’m reminded that, yes, most people feel they should attend EVERY funeral because, in some way or another, they’re family with that person.
But sometimes, even when you think you “get it,” cultural awareness hits you over the head like a baseball bat. And I don’t mean that in a bad way.
A couple of weeks ago, we made family trees in my Oral English/grammar classes. In 7th, we just made simple, pretend family trees to practice using the basic family vocabulary in sentences in which the subjects and predicates agree (to limited success). In 8th grade, we felt we were up to the challenge of graphing our OWN families using family trees. The results were sprawling spiders of names … some of them understood how and why to connect these names, others not quite. But the big shocker moment came when I was collecting them.
There are a few sets of siblings in my 8th grade class, so I joked that some family trees would look pretty similar. Then I realized that cousins, too, would be represented on the trees. So I asked, by a show of hands, which students had cousins or siblings in our class. And in my 8th grade class of 20 students, only FOUR students didn’t raise their hands. I know that if I had asked them to raise a hand if they had cousins or siblings at our school (of 200-ish students), every hand would have been raised. A school full of family didn’t surprise me. But standing there looking at my class-full of cousins really threw me for a loop.
I smiled and tried to explain to them how this was different from my life/how that percentage of family in your class would be unusual in the States (except for in very small towns). Now, I’m not from a particularly large or small town. And growing up I always had a feeling that I was a part of a big and closely connected extended family, especially on my dad’s side. But then, as I was explaining to my students how I never, EVER had been in an academic classroom with a single sibling or cousin because all my cousins were older than me and lived in different cities, I realized how strange that must sound to them. To them it would look like I was all alone for my whole schooling life. And in that moment, I looked at myself through their eyes and thought, “Wow! That must have been really lonely!” And as I was being thusly moved, I tried to tell them what a unique gift their large, loving, and accessible extended families are—how they are lucky and blessed to be Pohnpeians/Micronesians/Pacific Islanders—but I wasn’t quite able to communicate my epiphany to them. To be completely honest, they were distracted when I got a little choked up in the telling.
But this was okay, my emotio-cultural epiphany, because my 8th grade class is a happy and accepting place to be (God bless them). [For example, on a different day we did a paired vocabulary activity about baseball. The first pair to finish was a duo of one of my highest- and one of my lowest-achieving students. They finished first because the high-achiever just filled out all the answers while the other copied. So I congratulated them on their speed, and then asked the former to explain what was going on to the latter. And as they bent their heads over their worksheets and I heard/saw the process of explanation, translation, and comprehension, I realized something else unique and heart-warming about this class – the explainer was 12 years old and my youngest student; the explainee was nearly 17 years old, the eldest in the class. They were dressed alike, in plaid, cargo shorts and black t-shirts, with skinny, machete-scarred legs extending down into Pohnpei zories. But the explainer’s legs barely reached the floor, while the explainee’s knees barely made it under the desk. And yet they worked together harmoniously, without any of the attitude or resentment one might expect from an age-authority reversal. Again, my 8th grade class is a wonderful place to be.]
But back to the family moment. After class that day, I talked with some of my students about how crazy my history must look to them—that as I’ve grown older I’ve been gradually conditioned to go further away from my family for longer periods of time. And how to me that’s normal, to maintain your claim to your family’s love while purposefully distancing yourself and “making your own life” in a new place—I mean, most people in the States do that without even needing to go abroad.
Pohnpeians understand having to go away from your family for a time to find work, send money home, and (hopefully) one day return with enough money to set yourself and your family up for a while in style. But that I haven’t seen my family for 15 months because I chose to go somewhere and make no money (on purpose!), and that I miss my family but am no literally sick for home, makes me a complete oddity to them. (Also that day I found out that my 8th grade co-teacher had started high school in Palau and, for a full semester, suffered actual, physical symptoms of homesickness.)
By most people here it’s assumed that, when I am done with Peace Corps, if I don’t marry a Pohnpeian man and stay forever, then I’ll go back to California to live. Because that’s where my family is, so why would I want to go anywhere else? And as I’ve been away from my family, I begin to see that they have a point. How wonderful it seemed to me that day to be always, literally, surrounded by family. Upon further reflection I can see that nothing’s perfect and that being forever tied into family connections and obligations without having a choice in the matter can also have its downsides. But that day it was a pleasant window (albeit a small one) into how my students view the world.
Ps: My REAL family matters, too. Very much so. I’m going to see them in December—we’re meeting up in Kauai one month from today! And since 15 months is the longest time I’ve ever spent without seeing them face-to-face, I am suitably excited! My computer’s background is a throwback picture from Homebuilders circa 1990 that Mom emailed a while ago. I went into paint, drew a big, pink heart around the four of us, and set it as desktop. To them, “I love you, and I’ll see you soon!”
But sometimes, even when you think you “get it,” cultural awareness hits you over the head like a baseball bat. And I don’t mean that in a bad way.
A couple of weeks ago, we made family trees in my Oral English/grammar classes. In 7th, we just made simple, pretend family trees to practice using the basic family vocabulary in sentences in which the subjects and predicates agree (to limited success). In 8th grade, we felt we were up to the challenge of graphing our OWN families using family trees. The results were sprawling spiders of names … some of them understood how and why to connect these names, others not quite. But the big shocker moment came when I was collecting them.
There are a few sets of siblings in my 8th grade class, so I joked that some family trees would look pretty similar. Then I realized that cousins, too, would be represented on the trees. So I asked, by a show of hands, which students had cousins or siblings in our class. And in my 8th grade class of 20 students, only FOUR students didn’t raise their hands. I know that if I had asked them to raise a hand if they had cousins or siblings at our school (of 200-ish students), every hand would have been raised. A school full of family didn’t surprise me. But standing there looking at my class-full of cousins really threw me for a loop.
I smiled and tried to explain to them how this was different from my life/how that percentage of family in your class would be unusual in the States (except for in very small towns). Now, I’m not from a particularly large or small town. And growing up I always had a feeling that I was a part of a big and closely connected extended family, especially on my dad’s side. But then, as I was explaining to my students how I never, EVER had been in an academic classroom with a single sibling or cousin because all my cousins were older than me and lived in different cities, I realized how strange that must sound to them. To them it would look like I was all alone for my whole schooling life. And in that moment, I looked at myself through their eyes and thought, “Wow! That must have been really lonely!” And as I was being thusly moved, I tried to tell them what a unique gift their large, loving, and accessible extended families are—how they are lucky and blessed to be Pohnpeians/Micronesians/Pacific Islanders—but I wasn’t quite able to communicate my epiphany to them. To be completely honest, they were distracted when I got a little choked up in the telling.
But this was okay, my emotio-cultural epiphany, because my 8th grade class is a happy and accepting place to be (God bless them). [For example, on a different day we did a paired vocabulary activity about baseball. The first pair to finish was a duo of one of my highest- and one of my lowest-achieving students. They finished first because the high-achiever just filled out all the answers while the other copied. So I congratulated them on their speed, and then asked the former to explain what was going on to the latter. And as they bent their heads over their worksheets and I heard/saw the process of explanation, translation, and comprehension, I realized something else unique and heart-warming about this class – the explainer was 12 years old and my youngest student; the explainee was nearly 17 years old, the eldest in the class. They were dressed alike, in plaid, cargo shorts and black t-shirts, with skinny, machete-scarred legs extending down into Pohnpei zories. But the explainer’s legs barely reached the floor, while the explainee’s knees barely made it under the desk. And yet they worked together harmoniously, without any of the attitude or resentment one might expect from an age-authority reversal. Again, my 8th grade class is a wonderful place to be.]
But back to the family moment. After class that day, I talked with some of my students about how crazy my history must look to them—that as I’ve grown older I’ve been gradually conditioned to go further away from my family for longer periods of time. And how to me that’s normal, to maintain your claim to your family’s love while purposefully distancing yourself and “making your own life” in a new place—I mean, most people in the States do that without even needing to go abroad.
Pohnpeians understand having to go away from your family for a time to find work, send money home, and (hopefully) one day return with enough money to set yourself and your family up for a while in style. But that I haven’t seen my family for 15 months because I chose to go somewhere and make no money (on purpose!), and that I miss my family but am no literally sick for home, makes me a complete oddity to them. (Also that day I found out that my 8th grade co-teacher had started high school in Palau and, for a full semester, suffered actual, physical symptoms of homesickness.)
By most people here it’s assumed that, when I am done with Peace Corps, if I don’t marry a Pohnpeian man and stay forever, then I’ll go back to California to live. Because that’s where my family is, so why would I want to go anywhere else? And as I’ve been away from my family, I begin to see that they have a point. How wonderful it seemed to me that day to be always, literally, surrounded by family. Upon further reflection I can see that nothing’s perfect and that being forever tied into family connections and obligations without having a choice in the matter can also have its downsides. But that day it was a pleasant window (albeit a small one) into how my students view the world.
Ps: My REAL family matters, too. Very much so. I’m going to see them in December—we’re meeting up in Kauai one month from today! And since 15 months is the longest time I’ve ever spent without seeing them face-to-face, I am suitably excited! My computer’s background is a throwback picture from Homebuilders circa 1990 that Mom emailed a while ago. I went into paint, drew a big, pink heart around the four of us, and set it as desktop. To them, “I love you, and I’ll see you soon!”
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